i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
