As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
