Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
