smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
