He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
