I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
