He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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