Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
