i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
