I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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