Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
