I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
