Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
