did you get engaged???
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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