chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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