Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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