i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
