hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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