Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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