I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
