have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
