Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize