She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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