I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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