i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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