Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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