Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
