that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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