I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
