So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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