I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
