What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
