My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
