the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
