i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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