is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
