Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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