So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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