I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
