I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
