guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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