My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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