So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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