i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
