I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
