u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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