Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
