He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
