I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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