Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
