My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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