Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
